(the dead are gone) the living are hungry
by Paint Splat
Summary: She can scream, she can fight, she can stab and kick and love all the fuck she wants, but that still doesn't change anything. Hisashi is gone, and her world has collapsed. [Takashi x Rei, drabble, set post-1x01 and pre-1x02]


_A/N: so now my trashy group of friends are all watching the same anime (because we're nerds) it spurred me on to watch it again_

_and now i'm having takashi/rei feels. pity me._

_set sometime between episodes 1 and 2_

* * *

Rei slumps against the wall, but this time there isn't blood dripping down onto her pristine white shirt (like butchering a lamb). This time Takashi is by her side, their arms brushing. Earlier in life Rei's heart might've been ready to beat straight out of her chest, but now all she can do is picture Hisashi's corpse, mangled and bloody and brains draped across the concrete like flowers at a grave stone, and try not to sob.

Hisashi is gone, she thinks, and like all the other times she's thought it after Takashi bashed his brains in, it still hasn't sunken in. Maybe tomorrow she'll wake up and find this was all a dream. She really hopes she will.

But hope is worth fuck all now. And optimism is no longer a currency Rei can afford to deal in.

She turns to catch a quick look of Takashi, and sees he is staring at the spot next to the sun in the sky, the rays hitting him in the face so his features are indistinguishable. He seems to be dealing with this well. But then he's always worn a mask of indifference.

She shakes her head slightly. She can't afford to be bitter now.

Another thought of Hisashi passes through her mind and she tries to shake it off, but he's clinging to her like cobwebs to velvet, and she really can't afford to deal with this.

She has a right to mourn. Her boyfriend turned into a zombie and Takashi (because she never has any idea what he is to her) killed him. And she can ignore it if she wants - she can scream, she can fight, she can stab and kick and love all the fuck she wants, but that still doesn't change anything.

Hisashi is gone, and her world has collapsed.

Another side glance. At least she still has Takashi. She sighs. She's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Takashi turns his head to meet her gaze, and she looks him straight in the eyes, willing for him to say something.

(She's always been conscious of her brown eyes. No one likes boring brown.)

"What are we gonna do with the body?" he asks, and she almost smiles. Poor Takashi. He was never too good with conversation.

She closes her eyes. "Please … Takashi. I don't want to talk about this."

"But we need to do something." His voice is low, his tone persistent, and Rei curses every god she knows and then some to the fact that this is the moment Takashi finally decided to grow a fucking backbone.

"Takashi - " she warns.

"It's no good just sitting there. We should do something at least!"

"Hisashi is gone," she says in a quiet voice.

"Rei, for fuck's sake – " He's getting impatient, and suddenly she snaps.

"No! Fuck you, Takashi, fuck you! I'm allowed to mourn, and have feelings. Hisashi is dead and you killed him, you don't get a say in this. I'm not a robot, just please give me time. The body stays where it is," she says, and Takashi is staring at her like he's never seen her before.

"And don't slap me again. I'm still mad at you for that," she continues.

"I'm … sorry, Rei," he says after a while, and it feels like a broken promise.

"Yeah," she says, because what else can she say? "Yeah."

She closes her eyes and breathes in deep, trying not to focus on the smell of blood and death.

She turns and opens her eyes, and realises how close Takashi is. Close enough for her to focus on his smell, the lingering cologne beneath the sweat and fear sticking to him. Close enough to see that he's looking at her too, and close enough to sense that a zombie apocalypse was really all Takashi needed to get his shit together.

She licks her lips, and it gains his attention.

"Please … don't bullshit me," she whispers, before leaning forward and slotting her lips against his, like hands meeting to pray. A prayer is what she fucking needs right now, because she should be focused on Hisashi. Instead she clears her mind and thinks of the moment, thinks of therapy and the fact that this doesn't have to mean anything.

She repeats it in her head while they kiss, lips moving against each other's desperately, like it's a poem. This is nothing, this doesn't mean jack shit, Hisashi Hisashi Hisashi.

She pulls them apart because if she didn't, they would never stop.

"I'm not bullshitting you. Not again," Takashi says.

She wants to believe him.

She turns away from him and stares at the sky.

"We'll deal with the body tomorrow," she says in a monotone, before getting up and walking the the other side of the roof to look out at the destruction below. Her beloved city turned to ruins.

Rei closes her eyes and thinks of Takashi and the feeling of his lips against her own.

Tomorrow will be a new day, she thinks, and Hisashi will still be gone.

Takashi, however, will be there.

* * *

(Her posture is unwelcoming, and as expected Takashi does not follow her.

She wonders why she ever thought he would.)


End file.
